Why Don't You Let Me Decide Who I Deserve
by ActionsSpeakLouderThanWords
Summary: I see you, you're not exactly trying to hid it. You whisper something in her ear, and she giggles. You've got her right where you want her, don't you? Vulnurable. Just too easy isn't she? rated T for language.


**Let Me Decide Who I Deserve**

**Disclaimer: There's no possible way that I could ever be as genius as J.K. Rowling. I don't own Harry Potter.**

A seering pain courses through my chest as my heart brakes for the second time. I see you, you're not exactly trying to hide it. You whisper something in her ear, and she giggles. You've got her right where you want her, don't you? Vulnurable. Just too easy, isn't she? You pur your arm around her waist as her arms snale around your neck. I turn my head so I don't have to watch you makeout with some poor slut just a week after you dumped me. Wasn't it just a few days ago you let it slip that you loved me? What happened? That's what I'd like to know. Did I do something wrong?

"Gross." My best friend Katie says, as she pulls out a chair to sit next to me in the library. "They should have a rule in the library, no getting in someone's pants where everyone has to see it!"

"He had to pick here, of all places." I sigh.

"OI GEORGE!" she yells. He detaches himself to look at Katie.

"There's children in the room who don't want to see you getting it on with that whore."

A week ago, Katie would have said that as a joke to George, and he would have come back with some sarcastic retort. But this time, he just looks at Katie, then at me. His stare stings, but I stare back, refusing to show him the pain he's caused me. He gets up, draggin ghis, whatever she is along with him.

"Screw yourself Bell." He comments as he walks by our table.

"Better than screwing her." Kaie replies with a smirk. George turns beat red with anger, a Weasley trait, and exits the library.

"I should have Oliver smash his face in." She says, watching them leave.

"He would never do it, he needs his beater for the next Quidditch game."

"Well then I'll do it myself. That bastard." I smile sadly. "How about you? You doing okay?  
The obvios answer is of course no, and Katie knows it.

"I'm fine." I lie. Katie looks at me sympathetically. She puts her arm around my shoulder.

"Come on, Oliver will have a cow if we're late." I choke out, wiping my tears from my face.

We leave the library, and head down the the pitch.

"Is everyone here?" Oliver asks as we enter the locker rooms. "Where's Weasley?"

"Present!" Fred jumps to his feet, saluting Oliver.

Rolling his eyes, Oliver says, "the other Weasley."

Fred's face drops. "Oh, uh. He was a little... busy." He sends me an apologetic glance. Fred's not proud of what his twin is doing, he's told me himself. But he's his brother and has to stand by him through it, even if he doesn't agree.

"Doind what?" Oliver dmands.

"Studying." Fred supplies after heasitating. I give a snort and Oliver looks at me. Seeing the look on my face he understands. George isn't really studying.

"Oh well, uh, on the pitch then. He can expect double laps." Oliver says unconfortably.

We troop onto the pitch. We're doing drills when he shows up, with her. Oliver signals to fly down. Reluctantly I follow the rest of my team to the ground.

"Do you realize how late you?" Oliver furioulsy asks. He waits a few seconds, and when George doesn't answer he says, "Well?"

"Oh, I;m sorry I thought that was a rhetorical question. Very late sir."

"And what's she doing here?" Katie asks coldly.

The girl looks over Katie. "Sorry, but is that like, sweat?" She asks.

"Um, yes? I'm at Quidditch practice?"

"That's discusting." I hear Angelina snor with laughter. "Georgey, this is boring. Let's go do something fun, if you know what I mean."

"Dude!" Fred asks. "How heartless can you get?"

George looks at him with a face of betrayl. "Back off guys. Rebecca's going to be around a lot more. Deal with it." And the worst par, he hasn't taken his eyes off me this whole time. And as easily as that, I've been replaced.

I feel a break down coming on, and I refuse to cry infront of George. So I run off the pitch as fast as I can. When I reach the edge of the forest, I puke all over the nearest tree. George Weasley has literally made me sick to my stomach.

I sink to my knees, and sob. Katie and Angelina come to comfort me, but I wave them away. Nothing anyone says at this point will make it better.

I soon start walking around the lake. It turns dark soon, but I don't care. I don't even illuminate my wand. I reach under my shirt and grab my neckalace. I've been keeping the little silver pendant close to my heart, hoping George would come back to me. But now that I know there is no hope, I tear off the neckalace and throw it to the ground. Screaming in frusturation, I stomp on it.

"God! Damn you George Weasley!" I cry.

After my fit is done, I go to sit on a nearby boulder. It's way past curfew, and people will start to worry soon, but I odn't carae.

George Weasley, the biggest ass I've ever met. He's an insufurable jerk, a pain to have around, and the one who has hurt me the worst. But for some irritating reason, I can't live without him. He may be horrible but he's wonderful just the same. Which makes this 10 times harder. I know I loved him. I know I still do, but seeing him tody, how often does he go from girl to girl. How meaningful was I to him?

Twigs crack behind me, and I freeze. I am so stupid to be out here this late. Whiping around and pulling out my wand in one smooth motion, I find myself pointing my wand at the exact person I had just been crying over.

"Woah," he takes a step back, putting his hands up as if to surrender. "I know you're mad, but let's put the wands away and talk about this rationally." His humor makes me furious. How could he joke about osmething as fragile as my heart?

I lower my wand and turn my back on him, staring out onto the still water. He joins me on the boulder. As much as my brain is telling me to move, to get away from him, I don't. I havn't been this close to him in what feels like forever. I realize now how much I've missed his scent. I long to touch him, his hand, or run my fingers through his fire red hair. But I control mysef.

"I got worried when you didn't come to dinner. And I waited for you in the common room." He says, as if I'm supposed to be touched by this fact. I don't reply. "It's cold out. Aren't you cold?" Wihtout an answer I glare at him. He doesn't notice my harsh look, but instead says, "You've been crying." He doesn't sound socked, or surprised. More, apologetic.

His fingers stroke my cheak. I flinch at his touch, but he continues to brush my hair from my face. He strokes my hair, and gently pulls my head to rest on his chest.

I don't realize it, but I'm crying. "Shhh." he sooths. Soon I realize what's going on. I push him away.

"Get off me."

"Alicia." He pleads.

"You can't do that!" I yell. "What game are you playing? Because whatever it is, I'm not informed of the rules."

"I..."

"What do you want form me, George?"

"Nothing, I-I just want.... I just want to know that you want me." I'm stunned.

"What?"

"God Alicia, don't you get it? I'm not good enough for you. I've never been, nor will I ever be. I got scared when I said I loved you, because its so true, and so overwhelming. So i broke up with you so you could be with someone who deserves you, someone ou deserve. And I'll het hate it when I see you two together, and I'll be lonely and miserable. But you'll be happy. So I had to hurt you, so much that you would have to get over me. But I realized something. I'm selfish. I can't live without you. So I'm going to be selfish, and keep you to myself." He bows his head. "If you'll still have me."

"George." I say. Im still stunned, and don't exaclty know what to stay. "You're stupid." I finally say. I get on my tiptoes, and press my lips, and put all of the passion I have for him in that kiss. "Why don't you let me decide who I deserve?" I tell him.

He smiles that trade mark Geoge smile, and I kiss him again.

**I hope you liked it! Tell me your thoughts please.**


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